Caught in the Carousel

Albums Of The Year:
1. The Awkward Stage—Slimming Mirrors, Flattering Lights
2. Steve Wynn—Crossing Dragon Bridge
3. Lindsey Buckingham—Gift Of Screws
4. The Gaslight Anthem—The '59 Sound
5. Randy Newman—Harps And Angels
6. honeyhoney—First Rodeo
7. Mark Geary—Opium
8. Big Bang—From Acid To Zen
9. The Enemy UK—We'll Live And Die In These Towns
10. The Real Tuesday Weld—The Real Tuesday Weld Presents The End Of The World Live
11. Eric Corne—Kid Dynamite And The Common Man
12. The Bye Bye Blackbirds—Houses And Homes
13. Mike Ford—Canada Needs You, Volume II
14. The Last Shadow Puppets—The Age Of The Understatement
15. Mock Orange—Captain Love
16. Teddy Thompson—A Piece Of What You Need

Songs Of The Year:
1. "Wait Until You Get To Know Me"—Steve Wynn
2. "Anime Eyes"—The Awkward Stage
3. "Great Expectations"—The Gaslight Anthem
4. "Had Enough"—The Enemy UK
5. "Frankie's Gun"—The Felice Brothers
6. "The Ghosts Are Alright"—The Bye Bye Blackbirds
7. "Common Man"—Eric Corne
8. "Little Ghost"—I'm From Barcelona
9. "Goodbye"—Matthew Puckett
10. "My Love For You"—Birdmonster
11. "Love Runs Deeper"—Lindsey Buckingham
12. "Little Toy Gun"—honeyhoney
13. "Gravity"—Red Wanting Blue
14. "Blood's Too Rich"—Luke Doucet
15. "Joey Smallwood"—Mike Ford

Best E.P.: (Tie)
Phil Wilson—Industrial Strength
Matthew Puckett—The Goodbye E.P.

Best Duet: Mark Geary and Ann Scott—"Facin' The Fall"

Cover Of The Year: (Tie)
"Fairytale Of New York"—Jesse Malin and Bree Sharp
"The Ghost In You"—Matthew Puckett

Rookie Of The Year: honeyhoney

International Pop Band Of The Year: Dengue Fever

Best Album Cover: The Last Shadow Puppets—The Age Of The Understatement
The artwork here is simple—it's a photo of one of the models from Sam Haskins' Five Girls in long black tights, a rumpled shirt and little else. But forget all that—it's the way her hair has escaped from its ponytail and falls over her left eye. It's her refusal to push it away. It's her lost-in-thought gaze. It's her glamorous mod beauty. It's hard to look away.

Best Comeback: The Verve. Was Forth as good as Urban Hymns? Not even close. But was Steel Wheels as good as Let It Bleed? Just to hear Richard Ashcroft demand: "Give me the light," was as satisfying as Ian Brown begging to be adored. It wasn't nearly as good, but when there's famine, sticks taste like linguini...

Runner-Up: Phil Wilson. The legendary June Brides frontman has broken his nearly twenty-year silence with a brilliant E.P. of covers. Barring a Stone Roses reunion, if Wilson puts a full-length out in 2009, the title's his.

Best Fake Comeback: Britney Spears. She's back, big deal. She never really went anywhere, if you think about it, y'all. But the corporate pop machine crafted an hour-long behind the scenes making of Circus special that made one feel they were watching history unfold. Crammed with bloated, self-confected glory, it wanted you to believe it was a monumental event-like the making of Abbey Road or Blood On The Tracks. But the truth was, she came in, put on headphones, snapped her gum and showed off her limited vocal abilities. And if you want to know the truth, when it came to the songs, she couldn't even sell them. Want proof? Download Lily Allen covering "Womanizer," which she twists into a new wave cabaret classic. Spears is perhaps one of the most charmless, uncharismatic artists around and Allen trumps her fair and square.

Comeback To Hope For: Amy Winehouse. Watching Duffy or Adele fill in the slot she's vacated, would be like watching Candlebox outsell Nirvana in 1993. Painful.

Crush Of The Year: January Jones of Mad Men. I've already written 39 poems for her. One particularly creepy line: "I've replaced Toni Collette with you on speed dial." I can hear the papers for the restraining order already being filed...

Biggest Cinematic Disappointment: The X-Files movie. And believe me, I wanted to believe. The film's personnel can blame Batman all they want, but they killed this on their own. It's truly the death of a great franchise. How bad was the movie? I can't even look the show in the eye anymore when it's on late at night. A pity.

Top Seven Movies:
1. In Bruges
2. Slumdog Millionaire/em>
3. Happy Go Lucky/em>
4. The Visitor/em>
5. Rachel Getting Married/em>
6. The Fall/em>
7. Religulous/em>

Late Night Salesman Of The Year: That headsetted, New York-accented, verbally pugilistic Sham-Wow guy. Obama should create a job for him in his cabinet because the guy can sell anything.

Biggest Losses Of 2008: Forget the stock market, we lost David Foster Wallace and Paul Newman. Film and literature are both left with massive, unfillable holes forever.

Best Bets For 2009. Barack Obama. The Music Lovers. Department Of Energy. Armstrong. Tom DiCillo's new documentary on The Doors. Jesse Michaels' new band. Dave Gleason. Federer breaking Sampras' record.

Best Quotes To Be Read As Bush Leaves Office:
"The welfare of the people in particular has always been the alibi of tyrants"--Camus
"All murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets"--Voltaire

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