Caught in the Carousel

Letter from the Editor - September 2008

By Alex Green

So this is what happened:

Last month my dad bought this giant book of arcane facts—I think it was called The Giant Book Of Arcane Facts—and while we were trying to pass time during the rain delay of the Nadal/Federer Wimbledon final, he opened it up and started firing off question after question.

"In what year did the Polish-Lithuanian army defeat the Teutonic Knights at Grunwald?" he asked me.

"I don't know," I said. "I had no idea they didn't get along."

"Okay," he said, "we'll try an easy one. Who was the Emperor of Austria-Hungary from 1848 to 1916?"

"How is that easy?" I asked.

"Is that your answer?'

"I don't have an answer."

"Your friend Marcus is a rock climber," he went on, "so maybe you'll know this one: What popular King of the Belgians was killed in a climbing accident in 1934?"

"I don't know," I said.

He asked me a bunch more: He wanted to know what year the Warsaw Pact was signed, the name of the Babylonian King that unified the northern border of Sumer and established the capital at Akkad in 2371 B.C. and of which civilization the ancient cities of Tyre, Sidon and Byblos belonged to.

The embarrassing thing, dear readers, is that I didn't have an answer for any of these questions. Everyone's got holes in their wheelhouse, but I was rendered silent and stupid in Science, Art, Technology, History, American History, Literature, Sports and Politics. Before long, I started wondering if I even had a wheelhouse at all.

So I told my dad to ask me a question he thought I could answer because my self-esteem was fading fast. He flipped to the front of the book—the only section in the two-thousand page tome that had pictures—and he said, "Okay, here's one you'll get: On what Phil Collins album did the hit single "Sussudio" appear?

"No Jacket Required!" I shouted.

"That's my boy," he said, undoubtedly cursing his investment in my college education.

"Ask me more," I said, "keep it in that section and bring it on."

I went on a crazy streak after that, dominating the feeble section with dizzying speed. I'll spare you the questions, but the answers were as follows:

The Bangles
Don Johnson
The White Shadow
Luke and Laura
Corey Hart
Atari 2600
Jack Wagner
White Lion
Rockwell
Silver Spoons
Steve Guttenberg
Days Of Our Lives
Adventures In Babysitting
The Thompson Twins
Wham!
El Debarge
Dig Dug
Big Trouble In Little China
EBN OZN

I wish I could say the answers were something along the lines of:

Act II, Scene III: As You Like It
Adde parvum parvo magnus acervus erit
The conceptual paradox of the particle-wave duality of matter and light
Marcel Proust
-675463.98765

But they weren't.

Being able to recite the opening scene of "Blade Runner" by memory, or being able to name the actors on "The White Shadow" in alphabetical order have always been useless talents of mine-save for several parties over the years that called for such anemic pop culture parlor tricks-but where I really creep people out is with what I know about music. For example:

*I can name Tommy Tutone's second single after "Jenny (867-5309)"
*I know what two songs Wall Of Voodoo played on American Bandstand
*I know what CD was the first to put a bonus track BEFORE the CD starts
*I know the name of the girl in the video for a-ha's "Take On Me."

And now, finally, after years of studying music videos, album jackets and the pages of magazines, my knowledge is going to be put to good use. I've been asked by author and regular CITC contributor Yvonne Prinz (www.stillthereclare.com) to be the Music Supervisor for the screenplay she's just written. A romantic comedy titled Our Daily Bread, the movie is set to be shot in Canada in the spring of 2009. I've already read the script, which is brilliant, and I've started compiling hundreds of possible songs for inclusion on the soundtrack. If you're a musician and would like to submit a track for consideration, please don't hesitate to contact me. The candidates so far are both moody and rootsy, but that certainly isn't a requirement. I do know that I need two female rap songs for two specific scenes, but other than that, anything goes.

Please submit by mail or email:

Alex Green
Editor
CITC
1881 Shuey Avenue Apt. D.
Walnut Creek, California 94596
alex670@earthlink.net

And now, on to business.

We've got a great issue to close out the summer with.
Check it out:

**We're proud to announce we've got a Consummate Top Ten from the talented singer/songwriter Steve Wynn. Mr. Wynn, who many of you remember as fronting The Dream Syndicate, checks in this month with his new solo offering Crossing Dragon Bridge and for his Consummate Top Ten, he created his own theme: Roll Over Beethoven: 10 Great Songs With Strings. It's a great list! And, I don't mind saying, his new album is truly a great one.

**This month we've got a Scouting Report on L.A. glam rockers Billy Boy On Poison. No one in the band is even twenty yet, but you'd never know from the sound of their debut E.P. Sweet Mess. Singer Davis LeDuke handles questionnaire duties here—you'll love this kid and you'll love his band.

**We're also pleased to report that we're featuring a supersized review/interview with singer/songwriter Mike Mangione, a man who can play the guitar backwards. Staff writer Amanda Kuba sits down with Mr. Mangione and gets the lowdown on his young and brilliant career.

**We've got reviews! Among others, we've got:
**Our new writer, sixteen-year-old musicologist The Vinyl Princess on the Suicide Kings
**Designer/Staff Writer Lyn Dunagan on Golden Arm Trio and Reed Waddle
** Dr. Slurpee, Podiatrist to the Stars© on Einstürzende Neubauten
**Jessica Simons on Julian Sakata
**We've also got reviews of new ones by Girl In A Coma, The Quit, Disgust Of Us, Yusuf Azak and more…

**We've got MP3 Downloads: 18 new ones this month by Cordero, Firewater, Ben Weaver, The Standard, The New Frontiers and more.

Next month's issue is going to be so big, we're taking the door off the hinges so we can get it through.

Enjoy!

Love and Rockets,
Alex Green
Editor, Caught In The Carousel
Alex670@earthlink.net