Caught in the Carousel

Ministry

The Last Sucker
13th Planet/Megaforce

T.S. Eliot closes his renowned poem “The Hollow Men” with the lines, “This is the way the world ends/Not with a bang but a whimper.” Had he lived to hear the touted “final” studio release from industrial-metal godfathers Ministry, he surely would have penned instead, “Not with a whimper but a bang.” The Last Sucker is nothing short of apocalyptic, as one should expect of a band like this after nearly 30 years of aggro/fist-pumping rants, sex-pun double entendre titles, and sound effects straight outta the surgical horror-wards of Hostel and Saw If one man could single-handedly end the war in Iraq by extending a middle finger to dubbya, I’d say mastermind Al Jourgensen could do it. Instead, he and his bandmates offer up a swansong onslaught of blistering thrash-metal in a blender, as alluringly haunting as Javier Bardem’s character Anton Chigurh from the new Coen Brothers’ flick No Country for Old Men (and is a coincidence that both of these creations were birthed in the gritty, barren wasteland of Hell Passhole, Texas? I think not…). The opening anthem on this record, “Let’s Go,” with its blatantly straightforward agenda (“Let’s go insane!”) reverberates with the classic Ministry sound akin to some of the best tracks on Psalm 69 and Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste. The album also serves up a healthy portion of political protests like “Watch Yourself” (which equates the U.S. with Big Brother), “The Dick Song” (which equates the VP with the Son of Satan and amusingly nods to Aerosmith with the quip, “Cheney’s got a gun”), and of course, the title track (which equates the President with, well, a word that rhymes with sucker). Thus, this record brings to closure the Bush-bashing trilogy that began with Houses of the Molé and Rio Grande Blood, and it does so with gusto. Granted, there are moments where Jourgensen’s lyrics lack subtlety, such as “No Glory” (which attacks “greed, power, corruption”) and “Death and Destruction” (with its reap-what-you-sow warning, “You want it/You got it/You break it/You bought it”). But the sheer velocity of these mosh-pit catalysts will absolve any lapse in scholarship. And the cover of The Doors’ “Roadhouse Blues” is so full of fire and fury, complete with a harmonica solo from hell, it’s like downing a full bottle of Ye Olde Rot Gut with Jim Morrison’s pirate bones. The only weak link in the chain is the punk-rock-meets-synth tune “Die in a Crash,” which feels out-of-place on the album. However, the two-part “End of Days” is no less than Judgment Day, and by the time the choir converges with the crunching guitar and the samples from Eisenhower’s farewell address speech, listeners should applaud in admiration of Jourgensen’s career. Heck, they might even feel half-compelled to write in Uncle Al’s name on the 2008 ballot, or at least check out Ministry on their C.U. LaTour this upcoming spring. The Last Sucker is a far cry from going the “primrose way to the everlasting bonfire”; rather, it’s the “spur to prick the sides” of complacency.

—Mark Cabasino